The Mattress Hell

Okay so a couple of weeks ago I got this mattress from Amazon with a gift certificate from a customer. Who buys beds online? Well, with a big ole gift certificate, I do. It was this memory foam thing that shows up in a bag and once it hits air it expands. I loved it, Rich did not. In fact, he hated it. It was the very epicenter of near-divorce arguments. So finally I agreed to send it back under much duress.

I called Amazon, explained the situation because it did not fully expand to the 10 inches it was supposed to and we wanted that 10 inches. I should say I did cause otherwise it just sounds wrong.

They said to send it back and get a refund. Herein lies the problem. Said mattress is now a full queen sized mattress. They do not make boxes for them. No one does. Mattresses are sent in plastic now. I called UPS and they said a plastic moving cover was fine. Rich went to U Haul and got one. Today UPS came and refused to take it. They would not be responsible for it if it got damaged.

Fast forward to me being on the phone with Amazon, then UPS, then Amazon, then UPS again, then Amazon. For almost 2 hours I did this.

To make a long, harrowing story short, I finally found a nice person at our local UPS office that is going to make a box for it. We just have to bring it to the UPS store tomorrow. On the plus side, the place we bought our mattress from let us exchange it for a brand new one so if we get this one returned I can buy a Kindle!

Here are excerpts from some of the conversations:

Me: UPS won't accept this mattress
Amazon: You need to wrap it back up like it came.
Me: I can't. It's a full mattress now.
Amazon: Don't you have the original packaging?
Me: Are you listening? It doesn't fit now, it expanded.
Them: You need to find a box.
Me: There are no boxes! No one uses boxes for mattresses now.
Them: You said you'd keep it with a partial refund.
Me: NO I DIDN'T. I said I'd consider it but we decided against it.
Them: You need to find a box then.
Me: ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH