Things Heard at Our House

Last night I'm reading my Kindle in bed. It has a night light and it's pretty bright. Or would that be a book light? Whatever, don't judge me. So Rich wakes up and says:

Rich: Does that light have to be so bright?
Me: I'm reading the bible and God said that if his light shines down and wakes you up it's a good thing.
Rich: Okay, whatever you say.

I really was reading the bible which led to this conversation later.

Me: Know what else I found in the bible? (I found Dothan in there earlier, like the city in Alabama)
Rich: What?
Me: Unicorns! I kid you not! (I go find the passage it's in since I bookmarked it to prove I'm not nuts)
Me: I wonder if they missed the Ark? Oh wait, this was mentioned after Noah's Ark. Wonder what happened to them?

So I go on Google and sure enough, Unicorns in the Bible is this huge search so it's not just me and I wasn't nuts at all.

I'm enjoying the Bible but I keep telling Rich that God was pretty angry back in the old testament. He smote a lot of people and seemed very disappointed with everyone back then. I kind of wish I'd started with the New Testament because the Old Testament is way hard to understand. I'm kind of lost. I just know that God had a lot of rules, he was angry a lot and there were unicorns. Now that's not being disrespectful to God because I am glad I am reading it and I bet he is too but was just surprised on a lot of things and again, no one ever told me there were unicorns! What gives?